


For Anton

by Benedicthiddleston



Category: Real Person Fiction, Star Trek, Star Trek RPF, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Catharsis, For Anton, Gen, In Memory of Anton Yelchin, Mourning, RPF, rip Anton Yelchin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 08:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7567000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedicthiddleston/pseuds/Benedicthiddleston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because the vine that had wound around many hearts and souls over a span of twenty-seven years by the bright and wonderful Anton Yelchin broke on June 19th, 2016. And his friends and family are still mourning the devastating tragedy.</p><p>To help us all heal, I hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Anton

**Author's Note:**

> Suggested song to listen to while reading: Stars by Skillet

_“Space. The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her continuing mission: to explore new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no one has gone before.”_

-

Chris hadn't actually meant his home to become the official meeting spot, but it just - happened. Most of the cast was in Los Angeles gearing up for Beyond's marketing run and press tour, so it made sense. Chris had the largest digs and he wasn't shy about inviting his family in.

Zach picked up his ragged pieces back in New York for a couple of days, blocked his agent on his phone, changed his voicemail and told everyone to fuck off, kissed Miles and Noah and Skunk, hugged them, kissed them again, and got on the first flight out of NY to LA early that next morning.

Not even a week had passed since news that their youngest and most loved family member had tragically died. No one had quite believed it at first, but then it was quickly confirmed by Anton's publicist and broken cries of pain could be heard echoing across the world. John and Karl took to Twitter, Karl barely able to get a sensible word or two out before becoming a sobbing mess. John held up, toasting his best friend with sweet words. And then everyone was saying something and no one was saying anything.

Even JJ had been in a muddled world upon the news that the Chekov of his time was gone. Light snuffed out by his own car. Nothing hurt worse than knowing Anton had had so much potential and was gone at just 27.

So the impromptu gathering happened on a blisteringly hot day in Southern California, the air conditioning on full bore as Chris ushered two or three people into his home at a time. When the stragglers finally came and there seemed to be no one else, Chris imagined there were over one hundred people in his home, many holding tightly to beers or vodka, or in Chris's case, whiskey. Many where of the Star Trek family, from Alice to JJ to Walter K (like what the fuck was Walter doing in Chris Pine's house?!!! Damn son!). Everyone was there: Zach, Karl, John, Zoe, Bana, Dennings, Downey, and just so many from the past and present of those who knew and loved Anton Yelchin.

Many tears had been spent that fateful Sunday when the news had come out, but now that it was Friday, the pain had reared its ugly head once again and there were tears in many places in Chris's home. He had tried to stock up on tissues, but he knew there would never be enough. Not for Anton. Not for one of their own.

Zach, ever the punctual individual, had been the second person to Chris's door that morning (somehow Karl had beaten him, which was a complete first), and had taken over making sure no one fucked up Chris's home from the sheer volume of mourners. Chris wasn't too worried - he kept his most prized possessions in his bedroom, and that door was locked. If someone wanted impromptu sex together, they would have to take it to the guest bedroom.

And then the three main dudes of Star Trek had a fucking bawling session together because their little brother, the one they had sworn to protect, to keep close, was gone. The condolences to Anton's mother and father would never be enough. They, as a tight-knit group, had failed to protect one of their own. And on the eve of their third movie together, striving to make the world a thoughtful place by integrating the passion and drive Gene Roddenberry had put out there so long ago. Star Trek was for them all. And now - now they would raise a toast to one of their own.

Karl and John sat numb on the couch, Zoe perched on the coffee table, her eyes searching the crowd. She spotted Zach and Chris in the fray, their bodies moving in and out of sight. If they didn't do something soon, she was.

She had been celebrating her birthday when the news came. All the happiness of the day was overshadowed and she kept to herself mostly, scaring her husband and her children. Anton had been the baby of the family and they had all loved him dearly. The news that he had passed on to another life took Zoe's poor heart and smashed it into tiny fragments. She hated the cruel world she lived in, for allowing things like this to happen.

But she eventually broke from her mourning spell and got to work remembering Anton the proper way: drinks, tears, and family and friends. So here she was, waiting for dumbo one or dumbo two to say something - ANYTHING!

Finally Chris weaved himself through the crowd to stand halfway between the kitchen and living room, his back resting on a hallway wall. "Hey, everyone?"

Every conversation, every whisper and clink of glass, every rustle of jeans and suits was squashed, all ears hearing.

"We know why we are here. It's been a pretty devastating and long-ass week. I know – I can’t speak for all of you, but I know I have suffered a great loss. He was a beautiful, beautiful soul and no one can replace the brilliance and intellectual beauty that was Anton.”

Quiet murmurs of agreement echoed through-out the silent home.

But as much as Chris wanted to keep going, as much as he knew how much this was literally breaking everyone apart, he couldn’t keep going. He felt – broken. “I’ve never – this is my first time having to deal with this type of thing, and I am at a true loss of words. I – I’m sorry.”

Simon and Zach stood at the same time, both near each other and grasping each other’s shoulders in support. “Anton Yelchin had a wit about him that shown in every part of his life,” Simon started, eyes wandering the mass of people mourning for the soul gone far too soon. “From his superb acting to his passion for everything Russian. His crazy knack for running circles around us on philosophy and obscure literature references. And the phone calls at two in the morning.”

“Is it too much to ask for another 2 am phone call from him?” Zach interjected, hands both slowly becoming fists, one clutching Simon’s neck gruffly.

The tears had already started around the room.

“To God Almighty, why him?” Simon managed to whisper.

Zoe found herself sitting on John’s lap after that, everyone around them silent. Karl, for the first time, was in stunned silence without a single tear.

Chris, already quietly sobbing opening in front of everyone, eventually picked himself up off the wall and straightened himself up. “We honor him. Through all that we do. Especially as the majority of us get ready for the press tour for Star Trek. Anton will be our guiding light.”

John spoke up, “Everyone has to see our dubsmashes. Everyone has to know Anton enjoyed life.”

That set off a round of laughs and everyone starting to talk at once to those around them, memories of Anton floating around like a dream.

Chris just let everyone talk, smiling and enjoying their company. They were helping him heal. They would always be together, even when apart. They were bounding over a great loss. But it was the thing that made them stronger. Extra glue, so to speak.

An hour later, as the moon peeked out from around a bank of clouds, and the drinks had officially been passed around, Zach and Chris yelled for a toast.

The whole house seemed to freeze, waiting.

“We are here for Anton. We will leave united because of a wonderful human being. In everything we do, the coming days and weeks will test our emotions and our unity. So, no matter what, no matter where we go, we stay family. For Anton.”

“For Anton!”

-

 _“If you can hold the stars in place_  
_You can hold my heart the same_  
_Whenever I fall away_  
_Whenever I start to break_  
_So here I am, lifting up my heart_  
_To the one who holds the stars”_ – Stars by Skillet 

**Author's Note:**

> I originally had this idea shortly after Anton’s death. I had wanted to imagine a gathering of everyone who was so important to him and vice versa. Majority of them previous or present cast members - those who he did call friends. I imagined that Chris Pine, my own hero, would gather everyone together because he was the Captain. He was the head of the family, so to speak. 
> 
> I started writing this before press began for Star Trek Beyond. As the interviews came rolling out and I read everything google could send me – I learned that this, in a way, had ACTUALLY happened. Chris did have people over to his place. He mourned with them in a way that will forever be private for him, because he is that person. And then he said this was his first real loss of this magnitude (how insane is that? I grieve with him because he is 35 and now he knows the pain of such a loss) And then I realized somehow, someway, that Chris Pine was breaking. So what does he do? He literally does not shy away from social media and loving his cast mates. His friends. He is open to the world as a man who is in total tatters.
> 
> And I have not stopped crying. And my love for Chris, for the family that is Star Trek, and for the life that was Anton Yelchin, I am forever with them all.
> 
> This is for you, Anton. I appreciated you when you were alive, but I did not realize how much I could have until now. You had no right to die, and not in the way you actually did. My heart is heavy, it aches, and I don’t know what to say or do or why I even feel like this. It is so painful. I miss you so much, Anton. Every song makes me think of you. I relish what we do have of your brilliant mind and brilliant work. You were a fabulous actor and just hearing your friends talk about you, I ache for what could have been. I love that you lived. I hate that you missed so much of life. 27 was not old enough.
> 
> For the entire Star Trek family – we will survive. We will forever remember Anton Yelchin. We will forever hold tight to the beauty and wonder of the message that is Star Trek. We are FAMILY.
> 
> For Anton.
> 
> (Star Trek belongs to CBS and Paramount and everything, so I don't own any of that. 
> 
> Skillet owns the words to "Stars". It is a beautiful, beautiful song and I suggest listening to it. It is what has helped me through this tragedy. Because God is big enough to hold the stars in place and he can hold my heart as I cry over such a young life gone forever)


End file.
